The PTA auction is an annual sale hosted by the PTA in order to raise money for Larry Mack Junior Middle School. Susan Heffley persuades Greg into volunteering during No Brainer.
Since the PTA auction was a fancy occasion, Greg had to dress up for it and his duty was to hold a tray stacked with miniature pigs in a blanket all night. The first part of the event was the silent auction where parents could bid on various different prizes. Greg was hoping that his parents would bid on something cool like a pair of jet skis but the only prize they bid on was a wellness basket. Greg mentions that most of the businesses that donated, provided some quality prizes for the silent auction however others just seemed to be discarding their unusable supplies. Greg suspects that some businesses donate every year because just like last time Crawford Studios was offering a family portrait. However since he didn't want a repeat of that ordeal, he wrote a fake name onto the bidding sheet so there was no possibility that they actually won.
The next part of the event was the live auction where they recruited a professional auctioneer to get people to bid on special prizes. The first prize was for a student to be driven to school in fire truck which Greg is surprised they still offer since the last winner had to assist in extinguishing a live fire during her ride. The next item was instead with a police truck and Ricky Fisher's parents won it for the second time in a row which Greg figures is a good exercise for him in the future. The proceeding item for sale was lunch with the librarian and she received a lot of bids due to her being so popular with the students. However, the next teacher was the janitor and since he constantly yells at students for accidentally treading on his clean floors, nobody was willing to bid. Eventually, Mr. Gupta bid three bucks just to move things along.
The next item up for bidding was to have a member of staff do odd jobs at home which Greg is surprised they assent to because it is on a weekend. One of the prizes that they do annually is to raise money to get the principal to kiss a piglet however just as parents started bidding, Mr. Bottoms interrupts onstage and refuses to do it as he claims that he is allergic to barn animals. The final item of the live-auction was Principal for the Day where a student gets to take charge of the school for a few hours. Susan outbids everyone for the prize, and it ultimately comes down to her and Mrs. O'Malley. Since they both had a rivalry over each other for PTA secretary, this bidding war was personal to them and eventually Mrs. O'Malley relinquishes, causing Susan to win, much to Greg's embarrassment.[1]
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- ↑ No Brainer, pages 131-146