Diary of a Wimpy Kid Wiki

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Diary of a Wimpy Kid Wiki
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This is for the total amount of picture dialogues in the Diary of a Wimpy Kid Series, (not completely finished yet). The location of which book it is from is listed on each dialogue.

Known Characters[]

Greg[]

  1. Here's my journal. Now shoo, shoo. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. Gaah! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  3. YES! YES! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  4. Why certainly! Heh, heh. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  5. I don't think girls are stinky poos! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  6. Shoot. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  7. Fred picked up the buh... bah... bee... (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  8. Whew. Thanks! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  9. Huh? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  10. Excuse me? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  11. Say what? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  12. Did you know that if your hand is bigger than your face it's a sign of "low intelligence"? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  13. Ha! Gotcha! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  14. Hmm... Let me check again. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  15. Must be a mistake. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  16. Whew! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  17. Um... No thanks. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  18. Friend = good. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  19. I just dusted the dining room for the heck of it! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  20. Yeah! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  21. Three! Three! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  22. Yeahhhh... Sorry. Can't help you with that. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  23. Rah! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  24. Wow! Look at the size of that flamethrower! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  25. Oh yeah, never mind. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  26. I bet this part is gonna be funny. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  27. Whup! Ha ha! I was right! It was funny. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  28. A cowboy. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  29. We're calling the cops! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  30. Well, I guess now that we're safe in our own house, you can't get us! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  31. Ooh ooh! Eee eee! Ahh ahh! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  32. Ahhhhhhhh... (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  33. Does this feel right? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  34. Unh! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  35. Muscles are gross! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  36. Fifteen more! Come on! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  37. Ouch. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  38. Owwwchhh? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  39. We three trees! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  40. I think you dropped an apple, "Bubby." (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  41. Heh, heh. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  42. Gee, thanks! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  43. Yaaaah! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  44. No thanks... I'm not as good as you! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  45. Hey look at me! I'm your dad! Darr darr darr. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  46. I'm the one who broke his hand! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  47. It's a raging infection caused by a splinter that was left untreated! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  48. Would you like to be the first one to sign my sympathy sheet? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  49. Go away. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  50. Actually, it's an embroidered bookbag. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  51. Nope. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  52. Hel-lo! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  53. Grunt! Wheeze! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  54. Uh oh. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  55. Yaah! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  56. Heh, heh. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  57. Yes ma'am. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  58. I guess this has been a learning experience for both of us! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  59. Yeah! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  60. Let me get this for you, "captain"! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  61. Psst! Psst! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  62. Hi, pal! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  63. Jerk. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  64. Your mama! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  65. Your big fanny granny! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  66. Your slap-happy grandpappy! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  67. I would, but I'm allergic to dairy! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  68. I know, I know! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  69. Gaaah! (Rodrick Rules)
  70. Welcome to our school, Jeremy! (Rodrick Rules)
  71. I started that. (Rodrick Rules)
  72. Mm hmm... Hey, have you ever noticed this freckle before? (Rodrick Rules)
  73. Ouch! (Rodrick Rules)
  74. Bunny rabbit! (Rodrick Rules)
  75. Aieee! (Rodrick Rules)
  76. Your dad-pa smells-pa like-pa a woman-pa! (Rodrick Rules)
  77. Did you see any sharks fighting giant tarantulas on your safari? (Rodrick Rules)
  78. Well, at Wild Kingdom they do. (Rodrick Rules)
  79. Rowley here just got back from South Dakota! (Rodrick Rules)
  80. Whatever! (Rodrick Rules)
  81. Um... Hello, sir... would you like to help support... (Rodrick Rules)
  82. Dear Mamadou, first of all, I think we should both just write in English to keep things simple. (Rodrick Rules)
  83. Boy, I sure do miss Chirag. (Rodrick Rules)
  84. Did you just hear something? (Rodrick Rules)
  85. I wish Chirag was here. Oh, how he loved chocolate-chip cookies. (Rodrick Rules)
  86. I'm not even that hungry... (Rodrick Rules)
  87. ... 33... 34! There are 34 people in this class. (Rodrick Rules)
  88. (Gobble, smack.) Not as good as the regular kind, though. (Rodrick Rules)
  89. Is there a flea breathing on me? Because it feels like a tiny little flea is breathing on me. (Rodrick Rules)
  90. I am deeply sorry, and now I do indeed admit that you exist, Sharif. (Rodrick Rules)
  91. Come on! (Rodrick Rules)
  92. Think again, Shawn! Neither one of your parents is taller than five-foot-two, and you're the only 200-pound six-year-old I know! (Rodrick Rules)
  93. I cannot tell a lie. (Rodrick Rules)
  94. That is if you're alive next year! (Rodrick Rules)
  95. Hey, I'm just trying to be realistic! (Rodrick Rules)
  96. My mother is not inside the house right now. (Rodrick Rules)
  97. Ahhhh! (Rodrick Rules)
  98. Estario parado en mi ay-ay-ay! (Rodrick Rules)
  99. Yeah! (Rodrick Rules)
  100. You're gonna grow up and get married to some ice cream! Ha! (Rodrick Rules)
  101. Dear Mamadou, I'm pretty sure "acquaintance" doesn't have a "c" in it. I really think you need to work on your English. Sincerely, Greg. (Rodrick Rules)
  102. Sorry... There's really not enough room. (Rodrick Rules)
  103. Scream!!! (Rodrick Rules)
  104. I light Rowley's eyebrows with a torch. (Rodrick Rules)
  105. Uh... My wizard Talroc utters the spell of talrune. (Rodrick Rules)
  106. I hand a turkey leg to "Mom." (Rodrick Rules)
  107. Here, catch! (Rodrick Rules)
  108. My brother's a professional drummer! (Rodrick Rules)
  109. Oops. (Rodrick Rules)
  110. I said extinct! (Rodrick Rules)
  111. Gotta go! (Rodrick Rules)
  112. Uh oh. (Rodrick Rules)
  113. Mom says we have to clean the whole garage. (Rodrick Rules)
  114. I hate you Gram-ma (Rodrick Rules)
  115. Putting economic policy before fiscal responsibility is like putting the cart before the horse. (Rodrick Rules)
  116. Look, honey! Our dog is standing on its hind legs! (Rodrick Rules)
  117. We're off on a romantic vacation. I guess we'll have to put you in the kennel! (Rodrick Rules)
  118. Well, woof woof woof to you, too! (Rodrick Rules)
  119. Good-bye, oh, family. Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye! (Rodrick Rules)
  120. Yeah, whatever! (Rodrick Rules)
  121. I think you should work on chewing your potato chips more quietly. (The Last Straw)
  122. Aaaaaaah! (The Last Straw)
  123. Mornin'! (The Last Straw)
  124. Unh... Unh... Unh... Unh... (The Last Straw)
  125. Looking for someone, fellows? (The Last Straw)
  126. Aaaaaaaahhhh! (The Last Straw)
  127. Yep, thanks for the ride! (The Last Straw)
  128. Eatin' chocolate. (The Last Straw)
  129. A doggie dropped it! (The Last Straw)
  130. Heh heh heh. (The Last Straw)
  131. Um... I don't think so. (The Last Straw)
  132. Aaaaaaahhh! (The Last Straw)
  133. Get out of my way, chimp! (The Last Straw)
  134. But you are one. (The Last Straw)
  135. Robot! What's the largest estuary in the world? (The Last Straw)
  136. Thank you very much! (The Last Straw)
  137. May I please use the lavatory? (The Last Straw)
  138. What the-- (The Last Straw)
  139. I... I can't! (The Last Straw)
  140. Would one of you gentlemen care to trade something for a pack of croutons? (The Last Straw)
  141. Wooozaa! (The Last Straw)
  142. Hey, look at me! (The Last Straw)
  143. Oof! (The Last Straw)
  144. "I'm an idiot." "I'm an idiot." (The Last Straw)
  145. What the heck? (The Last Straw)
  146. So long, suckers! (The Last Straw)
  147. Catch you guys later! (The Last Straw)
  148. Ouch! (The Last Straw)
  149. Ha! (The Last Straw)
  150. Mom mom mom mom mom mom mom (The Last Straw)
  151. Tattle Turtle, Rodrick stole all the money from my piggy bank! (The Last Straw)
  152. But what about that squirrel I helped with the broken leg? (The Last Straw)
  153. Ploopy! (The Last Straw)
  154. Raspberry plastic tickle bear! (The Last Straw)
  155. I'm the shag! (The Last Straw)
  156. Ouch! (The Last Straw)
  157. You're about to owe me fifty cents! (The Last Straw)
  158. Yow! (The Last Straw)
  159. Yes... Quite a game, quite a game. (The Last Straw)
  160. You guys smell. (The Last Straw)
  161. Whup! (The Last Straw)
  162. Well, it's just a stupid game, right, fellas? (The Last Straw)
  163. Mm hmm. (The Last Straw)
  164. As you were, gentlemen! (The Last Straw)
  165. Look! A bald eagle! (The Last Straw)
  166. I'm going up to Rowley's to play video games! (The Last Straw)
  167. Hi. (The Last Straw)
  168. Heh Heh. (The Last Straw)
  169. Peace be with you, Holly Elizabeth Hills. (The Last Straw)
  170. Hi Holly, this is Greg Heffley. You might remember me from a very special "Peace be with you". (The Last Straw)
  171. SCREAM! (The Last Straw)
  172. MOM! MOM! (The Last Straw)
  173. Is THIS where you guys saw the Albino Woolly Mammoth? (The Last Straw)
  174. La La La... I can't hear you! (The Last Straw)
  175. No. (The Last Straw)
  176. I'm going up to Rowley's to play video games! (The Last Straw)
  177. Hi. (The Last Straw)
  178. Heh heh. (The Last Straw)
  179. Peace be with you, Holly Elizabeth Hills. (The Last Straw)
  180. Hi, Holly, this is Greg Heffley. You might remember me from a very special "peace be with you." (The Last Straw)
  181. Scream! (The Last Straw)
  182. Mom! (The Last Straw)
  183. Mom! (The Last Straw)
  184. Is this where you guys saw that albino woolly mammoth? (The Last Straw)
  185. La la la... I can't hear you! (The Last Straw)
  186. No. (The Last Straw)
  187. Dear Holly- you are a nice person and all, but I only think of you as a friend. From, Slick (The Last Straw)
  188. Go fetch us some slushies! (The Last Straw)
  189. Hisssss! (Dog Days)
  190. Hel-lo, ladies! (Dog Days)
  191. Scream!!! (Dog Days)
  192. Look at this garbage! (Dog Days)
  193. Mm mm mm. (Dog Days)
  194. Girlfriend, you can do so much better than him! (Dog Days)
  195. Yep. (Dog Days)
  196. The V.I.P. Lawn Service does exceptional work and catered to my every lawn need. (Dog Days)
  197. Mind if I change the radio station? (Dog Days)
  198. Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere! Clean up, clean up, everybody do your share! (Dog Days)
  199. Dear Lord, please let Mr. Jefferson get hit on the head so he forgets about the money I owe him. And please let me get past the third level of Twisted Wizard without having to use any of my bonus health packs. Amen, and thank you in advance. (Dog Days)
  200. No problem "Fred"! (Dog Days)
  201. Everybody be sure to wish Greg a happy birthday! (Dog Days)
  202. Ahhhhhh! (Dog Days)
  203. Duck! Duck! (Dog Days)
  204. Sure, it's back in the kitch-- hey, wait a second! (Dog Days)
  205. I think Fregley might be naked. (Dog Days)
  206. Gifts go on the dining room table. (Dog Days)
  207. Wow, Aunt Brenda, this is really neat! (Dog Days)
  208. Your house is a wreck, your kids have no manners, and... hey, Mr. Johnson, you're not going out in that shirt, are you? (Dog Days)
  209. Sorry, no exceptions! (Dog Days)
  210. Hey, whoa, whoa! (Dog Days)
  211. Shrieeekk! (Dog Days)
  212. Does Mrs. Arciaga really think it's a good idea to wear a bikini when she's eight-months pregnant? (Dog Days)
  213. Waalllkk! (Dog Days)
  214. Press... the little... green... button! (Dog Days)
  215. Move along, people! (Dog Days)
  216. Shriek! (Dog Days)
  217. Help help get me out of here these people are driving me crazy (Dog Days)
  218. Wheeze! (Dog Days)
  219. Screech! (Dog Days)
  220. Get a load of this! (Dog Days)
  221. It's only like, three more blocks! (The Ugly Truth)
  222. Hee hee hee! (The Ugly Truth)
  223. Hope you have a good day at work! (The Ugly Truth)
  224. Wait up! (The Ugly Truth)
  225. Peachy Breeze is peachy-Oops! (The Ugly Truth)
  226. Can I go again? (The Ugly Truth)
  227. I'm pretty sure the next kid in line is allergic to peaches. (The Ugly Truth)
  228. Yay! (The Ugly Truth)
  229. I'm a little teapot, short and stout... (The Ugly Truth)
  230. Here is my handle, and here is my spout! (The Ugly Truth)
  231. Hee hee hee! (The Ugly Truth)
  232. Eh? (The Ugly Truth)
  233. I think I'm stuck to the floor! (The Ugly Truth)
  234. Here you go! (The Ugly Truth)
  235. Wuuuh? (The Ugly Truth)
  236. Boscow? (The Ugly Truth)
  237. Moscow! (The Ugly Truth)
  238. What does "carry" mean? (The Ugly Truth)
  239. 28... 29... 32... 35... 37... (The Ugly Truth)
  240. Two! Two chocolate chip cookies! (The Ugly Truth)
  241. Hello? (The Ugly Truth)
  242. Cut it out! (The Ugly Truth)
  243. Ok. Hee hee hee! (The Ugly Truth)
  244. I'm gonna need these back by breakfast. (The Ugly Truth)
  245. Can I at least get partial credit? (The Ugly Truth)
  246. We're getting a maid! (The Ugly Truth)
  247. Dear Isabella, please do my son Gregory's laundry. (The Ugly Truth)
  248. P.S. Now that you've read my note, you should just throw it out. (The Ugly Truth)
  249. No Way! (The Ugly Truth)
  250. 10... 9... 8... (The Ugly Truth)
  251. Dear Isabella, Gregory is the child whose bedroom has blue wallpaper. Please wash and dry his clothes and put them in his room. (The Ugly Truth)
  252. Dear Isabella, It is fine to mix the lights and darks together. Please take care of this at your earliest convenience as Gregory is out of clean clothes for school. (The Ugly Truth)
  253. Hee Hee Hee Hee! (The Ugly Truth)
  254. Moan. (The Ugly Truth)
  255. I... I guess. (The Ugly Truth)
  256. Dear Rowley, nobody likes your zit. Signed, the girls. (The Ugly Truth)
  257. We Accept! (The Ugly Truth)
  258. It landed right between you two! (The Ugly Truth)
  259. And then Ezekiel said to Zede-... Zedy-... Zekid-... Wha? (The Ugly Truth)
  260. Umm... No Thank You. (The Ugly Truth)
  261. I'M IN HERE! I'M IN HERE!!! (The Ugly Truth)
  262. Groan... (The Ugly Truth)
  263. Good to have you back! (The Ugly Truth)
  264. Were you saying something, fellas? (The Ugly Truth)
  265. Dear Santa, I did not throw a crab apple at Mrs. Taylor's cat, even though it might've looked that way from a distance. Sincerely, Greg Heffley. (Cabin Fever)
  266. May I clear everyone's plates? (Cabin Fever)
  267. Scream!!! (Cabin Fever)
  268. Eight times four is thirty-two, thirty-two, thirty-two! Eight times four is thirty-two, and now you know it's true! (Cabin Fever)
  269. Here comes the airplane, Alfrendo! Open wide! (Cabin Fever)
  270. Does Alfrendo look handsome in his big-boy shoes? Oh, yes he does! (Cabin Fever)
  271. Rockabye baby on the treetop... (Cabin Fever)
  272. Our cafeteria has really smelly food. (Cabin Fever)
  273. The pizza is purple and the French fries are slimy. (Cabin Fever)
  274. Aahh! (Cabin Fever)
  275. There was a big dog or a bear or something back there, but luckily I outran it! (Cabin Fever)
  276. Peace be with you. (Cabin Fever)
  277. Hello, Mr. Kappler. Would you like to purchase some hardy geranium bulbs? (Cabin Fever)
  278. What the--? (Cabin Fever)
  279. Did somebody just drop this pebble? (Cabin Fever)
  280. (Pant, pant) (Cabin Fever)
  281. Hi, honey! Hope you have a great day! P.S. Why not leave this note on your car so you can read it again tomorrow? (Cabin Fever)
  282. Juvenile male requests cash, as much as you are willing to donate. Please leave the money in an unmarked envelope under the recycling bin behind the church. P.S. Make sure you're not followed. (Cabin Fever)
  283. (Gasp) (Wheeze) (Cabin Fever)
  284. Could I get some of those chicken leg thingies? (Cabin Fever)
  285. If that's what you call them. Whatever. (Cabin Fever)
  286. Geoffrey the Dinosaur swings from vine to vine. He perches in a tree and eats a banana. "Ooh ooh ooh," Geoffrey says as he pounds his chest. (Cabin Fever)
  287. Yowch! (Cabin Fever)
  288. We've decided to start our own Holiday Bazaar, (Cabin Fever)
  289. Ask Greg: Dear Greg, my wife is always criticizing everything I do. The other day it was a little chilly out so I wore socks with my sandals. My wife actually made me go back inside and put on shoes! I feel like she treats me like a child, but she has a very strong personality and I'm afraid to stand up to her. What can I do? Sincerely, FRUSTRATED (Cabin Fever)
  290. Dear FRUSTRATED, it's NEVER okay to wear socks with sandals! You should apologize to your wife immediately. Greg (Cabin Fever)
  291. Dear Greg, are you single? Sincerely, THE LADIES (Cabin Fever)
  292. Dear THE LADIES, why, yes I am! Greg (Cabin Fever)
  293. Papa Tony's pizza stinks - By Food Critic GREG HEFFLEY. Have you noticed that Papa Tony's has started to really go downhill lately? It all started when they took the barbecue chicken pizza off of their menu and replaced it with a spinach pizza. Then they stopped selling grape soda. Papa Tony's was the only place in town you could get grape soda, so now I have to drink root beer, but it's really not the same. And half the soda water doesn't mix right with the syrup, so you either get corn syrup sludge or soda water. I think they're just trying to give you a bad fountain soda experience so you'll pay for the canned soda, which costs twice as much. My last complaint is about the napkins. You used to be able to use as many, but now Tony only lets you have two, and if you take more he gives you a dirty look. (Cabin Fever)
  294. Nooooooo! (Cabin Fever)
  295. 48... 49... 50! (Cabin Fever)
  296. Scream! (Cabin Fever)
  297. Does Alfrendo have a rash from being in his yucky old diapie too long? (Cabin Fever)
  298. Ahh... (Cabin Fever)
  299. So, uh... What's been going on with you? (Cabin Fever)
  300. Masked Hero Revealed! - The Tattler can exclusively report that the mysterious do-gooder who shoveled the church sidewalk on Christmas Eve is none other than our very own editor in chief, Greg Heffley. "I just wanted to do the right thing," said Heffley when asked why he decided. See HERO, A2 (Cabin Fever)
  301. Ahhhhhhh! (The Third Wheel)
  302. Seriously? (The Third Wheel)
  303. Think... think! (The Third Wheel)
  304. I wonder where this thing goes? (The Third Wheel)
  305. Do I really need to be hearing this? (The Third Wheel)
  306. Ack! (The Third Wheel)
  307. Cut... It... Out! (The Third Wheel)
  308. Put me back! (The Third Wheel)
  309. Ahhhhhhh! (The Third Wheel)
  310. Do you people mind? (The Third Wheel)
  311. The upstairs bathroom is mine! (The Third Wheel)
  312. Shoot! (The Third Wheel)
  313. Almost... There! (The Third Wheel)
  314. A little help? (The Third Wheel)
  315. Circle. Cir-cle! (The Third Wheel)
  316. Scream! (The Third Wheel)
  317. Hurry up in there! (The Third Wheel)
  318. Gaaah! (The Third Wheel)
  319. Ahhhhhhh! (The Third Wheel)
  320. Ahhhhhh! (The Third Wheel)
  321. I'm home! (The Third Wheel)
  322. CRUNCH (The Third Wheel)
  323. CRUNCH (The Third Wheel)
  324. Ladies first! Heh, heh! (The Third Wheel)
  325. Please do not put me with Ruby Bird. Sincerely, Greg Heffley (The Third Wheel)
  326. Mrs. Johnson! David Marks is shooting spitballs again! (The Third Wheel)
  327. I vote for double recess and half days on Friday! (The Third Wheel)
  328. No, no, no! (The Third Wheel)
  329. Mmrrff! (The Third Wheel)
  330. Aaaahhhh! (The Third Wheel)
  331. Yep. (The Third Wheel)
  332. Gaaaah! (The Third Wheel)
  333. Caramel popcorn! Caramel popcorn! Is this thing on? (The Third Wheel)
  334. Yawn! (The Third Wheel)
  335. Dear Adrianne, it would be "sweet" if you'd go with me to the Valentine's Day dance! Signed, Greg Heffley, P.S. if the answer is no, please hand this to Julia Barros, who is two seats to your left. (The Third Wheel)
  336. Hi Leighann- if you are looking for someone to go to the dance with, just let me by writing back. Greg Heffley (The Third Wheel)
  337. You can do better than him! (The Third Wheel)
  338. (Ahem) (The Third Wheel)
  339. Gag gag gag (The Third Wheel)
  340. "Woo woo," Right, guys? (The Third Wheel)
  341. Look at me! Hee hee hee! (The Third Wheel)
  342. Gag gag gag (The Third Wheel)
  343. Um... Yes... This is Greg Heffley speaking... and, uh, I'm calling regarding, um... (The Third Wheel)
  344. Hello, this is Greg Heffley speaking, and I'm trying to reach Melissa to see if she would be interested in... (The Third Wheel)
  345. Dang it! (The Third Wheel)
  346. Hello, this is Greg Heffley and bwah ha ha!!! (The Third Wheel)
  347. Gag gag gag (The Third Wheel)
  348. What's up, bro? (The Third Wheel)
  349. (Grunt) (wheeze) (The Third Wheel)
  350. Ack! (The Third Wheel)
  351. Splutter! (The Third Wheel)
  352. (Grunt) (wheeze) (The Third Wheel)
  353. Aaahhh... (The Third Wheel)
  354. He's not being funny on purpose! (The Third Wheel)
  355. Gasp! (The Third Wheel)
  356. Shhhhh!!! (The Third Wheel)
  357. La-chi cha-chi cha-cha! (The Third Wheel)
  358. Scream! (The Third Wheel)
  359. Shriek! (The Third Wheel)
  360. Scream! (The Third Wheel)
  361. Ahhhhhhh! (The Third Wheel)
  362. Greg Jr., would you like to give a hot dog to Mr. Rowley? (Hard Luck)
  363. So what did you think of that new movie? (Hard Luck)
  364. Whew. (Hard Luck)
  365. Oops! Looks like I dropped my sandwich! (Hard Luck)
  366. En garde! (Hard Luck)
  367. Why, I suppose it is! Yes, I suppose it is. (Hard Luck)
  368. We can always just watch TV at my house! (Hard Luck)

Rowley Jefferson[]

  1. Want to come over to my house and plaayyy? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. Knock knock! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  3. Thermos! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  4. Thermos be some way to tickle your funny bone! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  5. Really? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  6. But do I have "low intelligence"? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  7. Bwaahahaha! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  8. Rah! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  9. Hoo hoo! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  10. Yes! No! Help! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  11. Fpoooo! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  12. Shrieeeek! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  13. Do you want to have a turn now? (pant, pant) (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  14. (Sniff) heh heh. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  15. A little, I guess. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  16. Yum, yum! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  17. Can I peek at your infection? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  18. But we would miss yahooey!!! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  19. Grunt! Wheeze! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  20. I'm sorry I terrorized you children. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  21. Sure! Heh, heh. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  22. splutter*gasp*gag* (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  23. Bwaahahaha! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  24. And then we're gonna get on a boat and cruise down this river. (Rodrick Rules)
  25. G'day, mate! (Rodrick Rules)
  26. Joshie says you should respect your parents and follow your dreams! (Rodrick Rules)
  27. Duh. (Rodrick Rules)
  28. Yes, sir. (Rodrick Rules)
  29. Hee hee hee! (Rodrick Rules)
  30. No. And sharks don't fight tarantulas. (Rodrick Rules)
  31. "Si!" Heh, heh. (Rodrick Rules)
  32. South America! (Rodrick Rules)
  33. Nope! I can't even hear you or see you! (Rodrick Rules)
  34. Yaaay! (Rodrick Rules)
  35. We can call ourselves the "Diary Twins"! (Rodrick Rules)
  36. Owww... (Rodrick Rules)
  37. Psst psst psst! (Rodrick Rules)
  38. Can you scooch over a little bit? (Rodrick Rules)
  39. Ouuuchhh... (Rodrick Rules)
  40. What should we play now? (Rodrick Rules)
  41. Shoot. (Rodrick Rules)
  42. I am a person not a dog! (Rodrick Rules)
  43. But I'm not a dog, I'm your son! (Rodrick Rules)
  44. But I want to go with you guys! (Rodrick Rules)
  45. Scream!!! (Rodrick Rules)
  46. Booh-yah! (Rodrick Rules)
  47. Whatchya doin'? (The Last Straw)
  48. Where'd ya get it? (The Last Straw)
  49. Heh heh heh. (The Last Straw)
  50. Can I do the "doggie dropped it" part? (The Last Straw)
  51. Hee hee hee! (The Last Straw)
  52. Can I go get a soda? (The Last Straw)
  53. Don't be a fool. Be cool. Slick (The Last Straw)
  54. Fpoo! (Dog Days)
  55. Ruff ruff ruff! (Dog Days)
  56. Scream! (Dog Days)
  57. (sniff) really? (Dog Days)
  58. Want a lick? (Dog Days)
  59. Yaaay! (Dog Days)
  60. Reaaally? (Dog Days)
  61. Wheee! (Dog Days)
  62. He... he burned me! (Dog Days)
  63. I don't even really like video games! (Dog Days)
  64. Yippeee! (Dog Days)
  65. Yeah! (Dog Days)
  66. Can I take a (pant, pant) rest break? (The Ugly Truth)
  67. Groan. (The Ugly Truth)
  68. Whee! (The Ugly Truth)
  69. Scream! (The Ugly Truth)
  70. Just tip me over and pour me out! (The Ugly Truth)
  71. Come along, Rowley Junior. (The Ugly Truth)
  72. Respectful Rowley! (The Ugly Truth)
  73. My Mom says I'm becoming a MAN! (The Ugly Truth)
  74. 'Sup, Fellas? (The Ugly Truth)
  75. Shoot. (The Ugly Truth)
  76. Can we at least dip our feet in? (The Ugly Truth)
  77. ROWWLEY... ANGRY!!! (The Ugly Truth)
  78. Lol. (Cabin Fever)
  79. Lol. Lol. (Cabin Fever)
  80. Bacon... Bacteria... Badger... (Cabin Fever)
  81. Can we please go inside now, "Sir"? (Cabin Fever)
  82. No, peas be with you! Hee hee hee! (Cabin Fever)
  83. Peas be with you. Hee hee hee! (Cabin Fever)
  84. Kitten has a fun day - by Rowley Jefferson. Yesterday Mrs. Salter's kitten Mittens was seen frolicking in her front yard. Mittens spent an hour and a half chasing after a butterfly that was flying around Mrs. Salter's azaleas, and when the butterfly flew off, Mittens got very interested in something that was jumping near the front porch. But by the time I got close enough to see what Mittens was chasing, the thing had hopped away. (Cabin Fever)
  85. Me and Greg Heffley vandalized the school. (Cabin Fever)
  86. I vote for double recess and half days on Friday! (The Third Wheel)
  87. Greetings, fellow students. My name is Rowley Jefferson, and I, uh... (The Third Wheel)
  88. Wooahh! (The Third Wheel)
  89. I heard Greg Heffley has really strong muscles. (The Third Wheel)
  90. Hello, this is Rowley Jefferson, and I'm calling on behalf of snarf! (The Third Wheel)
  91. Shriek! (The Third Wheel)
  92. Want a sip? (The Third Wheel)
  93. ... And that's why my family will never rent that beach house again! (The Third Wheel)
  94. Potato peelers, please! (The Third Wheel)
  95. I'll have what the lady is having! (The Third Wheel)
  96. Have a wonderful time! (The Third Wheel)
  97. Whup! (The Third Wheel)
  98. No, you're cuter! Hee hee hee! (Hard Luck)
  99. Oh, we didn't care for that one! (Hard Luck)
  100. Happy Nine-and-a-Half-Day Anniversary! (Hard Luck)
  101. Sorry, we're occupied at the moment. (Hard Luck)
  102. You're just jealous! You're just jealous! (Hard Luck)
  103. Scream! (Hard Luck)
  104. Meow! Meow! (Hard Luck)
  105. Alert! Alert! (Hard Luck)
  106. Pant pant (Hard Luck)
  107. Pant pant (Hard Luck)
  108. Yaaargh! (Hard Luck)
  109. Beautiful day, Mr. Heffley! (Hard Luck)
  110. Slurp smack (Hard Luck)

Susan Heffley[]

  1. Awwww... (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. How thoughtful of you! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  3. Are you having fun? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  4. No video games for a week! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  5. That's not nice! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  6. I want you to take Manny with you. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  7. Thanks. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  8. I know the perfect place for this! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  9. It's a Christmas miracle! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  10. Oh. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  11. Grunt! Wheeze! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  12. Did you do the right thing? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  13. Hi, honey bunches! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  14. You forgot your lunch at home! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  15. Your friends will be jealous because you'll be so fast! (Rodrick Rules)
  16. I love you soooo much! (Rodrick Rules)
  17. You could have killed him! (Rodrick Rules)
  18. Your brother made that for you! (Rodrick Rules)
  19. Has anyone seen Gregory? (Rodrick Rules)
  20. Poor Gregory, all alone in the show. Oh, boo hoo hoo. (Rodrick Rules)
  21. That's the second time you tracked mud into the kitchen! (Rodrick Rules)
  22. Dr. Kratz, do you have dentures for little boys? Oh, only wooden ones? I guess that will have to do, then. (Rodrick Rules)
  23. Thank you, sweetie! (Rodrick Rules)
  24. Mom accidentally bumps Grimlon's arm and spills his drink. (Rodrick Rules)
  25. We give them all our food! (Rodrick Rules)
  26. Look who came to join you! (Rodrick Rules)
  27. That shirt makes Rodrick's arms look so skinny! (Rodrick Rules)
  28. I don't like that! (Rodrick Rules)
  29. Silly Bear yawning, Silly Bear sad. Silly Bear sleeping, Silly Bear glad! The end. (The Last Straw)
  30. Are you sure this is where I'm supposed to drop you off? (The Last Straw)
  31. You forgot this, sweetie! (The Last Straw)
  32. Blah blah blah blah blah (The Last Straw)
  33. What is a ploopy? (The Last Straw)
  34. There you go, sweetie! (The Last Straw)
  35. I think you'd look so handsome in a uniform. (The Last Straw)
  36. Right after you polish all the silverware! (The Last Straw)
  37. Hello? Hello? Who's this? (The Last Straw)
  38. ... Called his brother a "ploopy." Mm hmm... (The Last Straw)
  39. Holly Hills? Holly Hills was the only four-year-old at preschool who wasn't potty trained. (The Last Straw)
  40. You should really let some sunlight in here... (Dog Days)
  41. Guess what Manny did in the potty today? Guess! Guess! (Dog Days)
  42. Look at what you found, Manny! (Dog Days)
  43. Pat? It's been such a long time! (Dog Days)
  44. Why don't you go outside and play with Fregley? (Dog Days)
  45. I packed healthy snacks! (Dog Days)
  46. Ha ha! (Dog Days)
  47. Sweetie for short! (Dog Days)
  48. Get down, Sweetie! (Dog Days)
  49. These saddle shoes are on sale! (Dog Days)
  50. Greg? Gregory Heffley? Are you still in there? (Dog Days)
  51. Do you want me to get you something from the snack bar, honey bunches? (Dog Days)
  52. Hello? Barbara? Is that really you? (Dog Days)
  53. Why, Gregory would love to! (Dog Days)
  54. Family vacations can be a challenge! Is Gregory not behaving himself? - Susan (Dog Days)
  55. Greg, you're gonna miss the bus! (The Ugly Truth)
  56. Dear Gregory- have a healthy, happy day! Love, Mom (The Ugly Truth)
  57. The capital of Russia rhymes with "Noscow."
  58. M- m- m- (The Ugly Truth)
  59. Now that was an easy decision! (The Ugly Truth)
  60. We're in Hawaii! (The Ugly Truth)
  61. Well, I guess we'll have to go to the doctor and get blood work done. (The Ugly Truth)
  62. Are you strong enough to lift this cup? (The Ugly Truth)
  63. Really? So was I! (The Ugly Truth)
  64. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! (The Ugly Truth)
  65. Maybe you would've gotten more presents if you hadn't pinched your brother last week! (Cabin Fever)
  66. If you help me with these groceries, I'll bet it will be just enough to make Santa's "nice" list! (Cabin Fever)
  67. Why, how thoughtful of you! (Cabin Fever)
  68. Well! The Easter Bunny is going to be very disappointed in you boys! (Cabin Fever)
  69. Hey, everyone- let me know what you're buying for Greg this year, so we can coordinate. Thanks, Susan (Cabin Fever)
  70. Readers are winners! Keep reading to make your dreams come true! Your pal, Kenny (Cabin Fever)
  71. (Pant, pant) (Cabin Fever)
  72. "B" says "buh." "Buh." "Buh." (Cabin Fever)
  73. Can you show us how to work the microwave again? (Cabin Fever)
  74. Pick this one! You'll look so rugged! (Cabin Fever)
  75. Please write, "to my biggest fan, Greg." (Cabin Fever)
  76. Santa got all three of you boys V-Neck sweaters! (Cabin Fever)
  77. ... And then Mommy went to the store, where she bought you an adorable blue hat with little ducklings on it! (The Third Wheel)
  78. "Mr. Limbkins, I beg your pardon, sir! Oliver Twist has asked for more!" (The Third Wheel)
  79. Snore (The Third Wheel)
  80. I crave pickles, but I can't eat them because they make me gassy! (The Third Wheel)
  81. Every time we kiss, I feel a little kick! (The Third Wheel)
  82. Sleep tight! (The Third Wheel)
  83. You don't need this anymore! (The Third Wheel)
  84. Here you go! (The Third Wheel)
  85. Why isn't this thing working? (The Third Wheel)
  86. How did these get in here again? (The Third Wheel)
  87. "Don't poke your thumb in that child's eye, Bradley!" (The Third Wheel)
  88. ... And one more cookie for Danny! (The Third Wheel)
  89. Shhh! (The Third Wheel)
  90. Here comes the airplane! (The Third Wheel)
  91. It seems like it was just yesterday that Greg was in diapers! (The Third Wheel)

Frank Heffley[]

  1. Rodrick, I want your dirty underwear off the kitchen table when I get home from work. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. Awwww... (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  3. Dag nab these fancy gadgets! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  4. Let's you and me have a talk, friend. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  5. Yaaargh! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  6. Trick or treat! Heh, heh. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  7. Blah blah blah blah blah blah (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  8. Whoops! Heh, heh. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  9. If you work out regularly, you can get big muscles! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  10. Thanks. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  11. Stop shivering, Greg! (Rodrick Rules)
  12. And I love you so much! (Rodrick Rules)
  13. I think I just heard some grunting noises from the furnace room. (Rodrick Rules)
  14. The basement is off limits. (Rodrick Rules)
  15. What? I can't enjoy my music, too? (Rodrick Rules)
  16. Well, for starters, Abraham Lincoln didn't write "to kill a mockingbird." (Rodrick Rules)
  17. Hey... Didn't this door use to lock? (Rodrick Rules)
  18. I must be losing my marbles. (Rodrick Rules)
  19. You need to be using a clean rag, son! (Rodrick Rules)
  20. Good luck with that! (Rodrick Rules)
  21. What's the worst thing that kid up there could say to you? (Rodrick Rules)
  22. "Hi dad!" (Rodrick Rules)
  23. Wake up!!! (The Last Straw)
  24. Dag nab you rotten teenagers! (The Last Straw)
  25. If you get out of bed again tonight, you'll probably run into Shel Silverstein in the hallway. (The Last Straw)
  26. No son of mine is a quitter! (The Last Straw)
  27. Make sure you bend your knees, Greg! (The Last Straw)
  28. Quit playing in the tulips! (The Last Straw)
  29. Did you bend your knees? (The Last Straw)
  30. Heh heh. (The Last Straw)
  31. Where? Where? (The Last Straw)
  32. Huh? Oh, um, thanks. (The Last Straw)
  33. Scream! (The Last Straw)
  34. That's my son! (The Last Straw)
  35. Gimme that! (Dog Days)
  36. And you really need to stop leaving your dirty clothes in the bathroom! (Dog Days)
  37. Where? Where? (Dog Days)
  38. Mom says I need to hug you guys. (Dog Days)
  39. I'd like two value meals and a bottle of... hello? Hello? (Dog Days)
  40. Good one, Manny! (Dog Days)
  41. Oops. (Dog Days)
  42. Where are the gophers, Sweetie? Where are they, boy? (Dog Days)
  43. Come on, Sweetie, get up get up get up get up get up. (Dog Days)
  44. Yes, and I'll leave him with enough food and water for a week. (Dog Days)
  45. Lemme see! (Dog Days)
  46. You have to match three of the fruits to win, Gammie. (The Ugly Truth)
  47. Why is this meat shiny? (The Ugly Truth)
  48. Hmmm... (The Ugly Truth)
  49. No, no, no... You need to add the numbers in this column and carry the four. (The Ugly Truth)
  50. Hup hup hup. Let's go, let's go! (The Ugly Truth)
  51. Hup hup hup. Let's go, let's go! (The Ugly Truth)
  52. Why, I was a very late bloomer! (The Ugly Truth)
  53. We'll be taking this away until your English grade improves. (Cabin Fever)
  54. Ha ha! Those teeth are hilarious! (Cabin Fever)
  55. Heh, heh. (Cabin Fever)
  56. Aaahhhh! (Cabin Fever)
  57. ... So then I told Bill, "I did sign the bottom of the 1044," and I flipped the paper over so he could see for himself. (The Third Wheel)
  58. Let's kiss again! (The Third Wheel)
  59. You're late for school! (The Third Wheel)
  60. Stop picking at your food! (The Third Wheel)
  61. Has anyone seen my pants? (The Third Wheel)
  62. Gasp! (The Third Wheel)
  63. Splutter! (The Third Wheel)

Rodrick[]

  1. Sissy! (Rodrick Rules)
  2. Get in the back. (Rodrick Rules)
  3. I'm ready to start! (Rodrick Rules)
  4. My body is on a schedule. (Rodrick Rules)
  5. Waaaah! (Rodrick Rules)
  6. Yaah! (Rodrick Rules)
  7. Where's the space bar again? (Rodrick Rules)
  8. No, no, no! (Rodrick Rules)
  9. Monkeys don't understand English, stupid. (Rodrick Rules)
  10. Ahhhhh... (Rodrick Rules)
  11. Har har har! (Rodrick Rules)
  12. You and your group of nerds fall into a pit and it's full of dynamite and you blow up. The end. (Rodrick Rules)
  13. Is this how you do it? (Rodrick Rules)
  14. Class is dismissed early today. (Rodrick Rules)
  15. Your homework is to listen to some music with drums in it. (Rodrick Rules)
  16. Wrong, wrong, wrong! (Rodrick Rules)
  17. My fee has gone up. (Rodrick Rules)
  18. Hey... Where's Monday night football? (Rodrick Rules)
  19. Greg loves watercress salad! (Rodrick Rules)
  20. Bwahahaha! (Rodrick Rules)
  21. I can't, I'm doing my research. (Rodrick Rules)
  22. Somebody farted farted farted farted farted (Rodrick Rules)
  23. Ha! (Rodrick Rules)
  24. Gaaah! (Rodrick Rules)
  25. He can wear my pants! (The Last Straw)
  26. Pl- (The Last Straw)
  27. -oo- (The Last Straw)
  28. -py! (The Last Straw)
  29. @#$%! (The Last Straw)
  30. Spooky stork! (The Last Straw)
  31. April Fools'! (The Last Straw)
  32. I can get the rest of it to you tomorrow. (Dog Days)
  33. Turd for short. (Dog Days)
  34. Go! (Dog Days)
  35. Careful, it's very hot! (The Ugly Truth)
  36. Dear Greg, make sure to change your diaper after lunch. Love, Mommy (The Ugly Truth)
  37. Go get me some ice cream. (The Ugly Truth)
  38. 10... 9... 8... (The Ugly Truth)
  39. I, Greg Heffley, took a twenty-dollar bill out of my mother's purse. (Cabin Fever)

Manny[]

  1. Ha! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. Hmm... (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  3. Bubby! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  4. SCREAM!! SQUEAL!! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  5. Bwah ha ha! (Rodrick Rules)
  6. Yaah! (Rodrick Rules)
  7. I'm ownwy three! (Rodrick Rules)
  8. I'm sowwy, Bubby. (Rodrick Rules)
  9. Wood you wike some chokwits? (Rodrick Rules)
  10. Bubby thowed wock at big window. (Rodrick Rules)
  11. Hi! (The Last Straw)
  12. Ploopy! (The Last Straw)
  13. Wipe my heinie, ploopy! (The Last Straw)
  14. @#$%! (The Last Straw)
  15. Knock knock! (Dog Days)
  16. One two free four five. Five named Clive. (Dog Days)
  17. Zeeb for short! (Dog Days)
  18. Yop yop! (The Third Wheel)
  19. Splinky splop! Splop! (The Third Wheel)
  20. Scream!!! (The Third Wheel)
  21. Scream!!! (The Third Wheel)

Fregley[]

  1. Wanna see my "secret freckle"? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. Juice! JUUUICE!!! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  3. Does this scab smell funny to you? (The Last Straw)
  4. Boogie boogie boogie! (The Last Straw)
  5. Wanna hear about my "hygiene issues"? (Dog Days)
  6. Hello friend! (Dog Days)
  7. Woof! Woof! (Dog Days)
  8. I'll bet I can fit your whole foot in my mouth! (The Ugly Truth)

Mr. Jefferson[]

  1. Hmmmm... (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. Mm hmmmm! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  3. Aieeeeeeee! (The Last Straw)
  4. An awesome friendly kid? (Dog Days)
  5. Good job, Rowley! (Dog Days)
  6. So, did you have a good summer? (Dog Days)
  7. Gaaaah! (The Ugly Truth)
  8. Yay! (The Ugly Truth)
  9. Gaaah! (Cabin Fever)

Mrs. Jefferson[]

  1. It's a Christmas miracle! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. How would Gregory like to join us? (Dog Days)
  3. You could read a book! (Dog Days)
  4. I love you because you're silly and you make me laugh! (Dog Days)
  5. A cute, adorable boy? (Dog Days)
  6. Hurray, Rowley! (The Ugly Truth)

Holly Hills[]

  1. Hey, you're not supposed to be up on the couch, you dumb mutt! (Rodrick Rules)
  2. Don't you growl at me! (Rodrick Rules)
  3. Isn't your name "Fregley"? (The Last Straw)
  4. Greg, I don't really know you all that well, but you seem ok, I guess. K.I.T. Holly (The Last Straw)
  5. Dear Rowley, you are so adorable and funny! I hope we have the same homeroom next year. Stay cute! Love, Holly (The Last Straw)

Bryce Anderson[]

  1. Girls are stinky poos! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. Hey, what's that high-pitched noise? (The Ugly Truth)
  3. I'm just kidding, there's no high-pitched noise. (The Ugly Truth)

Bryce's Friends[]

  1. Yeah, I hear it too! (The Ugly Truth)
  2. Ow! Ow! (The Ugly Truth)

Chirag Gupta[]

  1. Hey, guys! I'm right here! (Rodrick Rules)
  2. But I'm sitting right next to you! (Rodrick Rules)
  3. I... am... a... human... being... too! (Rodrick Rules)
  4. Rowley, do you think I exist? (Rodrick Rules)
  5. If you say I exist, this corn dog is yours! (Rodrick Rules)
  6. Oops! (Cabin Fever)

Gammie[]

  1. Oh! (The Ugly Truth)
  2. Dear Family, I am writing to apologize for the unfortunate incident that occured shortly after our family concluded "grace" at our Thanksgiving celebration. As I have gotten older, I have found it more difficult to control my body and I'm afraid my recent surgery might've contributed to my little "slip." I hope that this unfortunate mishap has not become the lasting impression of what was otherwise a glorious and blessed occasion. Love, Gammie. (The Ugly Truth)
  3. I see. (The Ugly Truth)
  4. I made a ham incase anyone stopped by! (The Ugly Truth)

Gramma[]

  1. I love all my grandchildren the same. (Rodrick Rules)
  2. And this is what my wonderful grandson Gregory made for me! (Rodrick Rules)
  3. Why, aren't you a dear? (The Last Straw)
  4. Cordless telephones erase the memory of the elderly. (Dog Days)
  5. Um... The New York Times. (Dog Days)
  6. Dear Lord, please let me find my dollar savers coupon book. (Dog Days)

Grandpa[]

  1. Gregory is my favorite! (Rodrick Rules)
  2. Oh, sure! Barry Grossman has time to go out for a three-hour walk, but he doesn't have time to return my vacuum! (Rodrick Rules)
  3. Here you go! (Rodrick Rules)
  4. Haw, haw, haw! (Rodrick Rules)
  5. Could you put my teeth in that glass? (Rodrick Rules)
  6. Was that Frank's skateboard? (Dog Days)
  7. Let's play Gin Rummy! (The Ugly Truth)

Uncle Gary[]

  1. Sorry I'm late... the kids at the party wouldn't let me leave! (The Ugly Truth)
  2. And I've got forty-five! (The Ugly Truth)
  3. Did you happen to bring your checkbook? (The Ugly Truth)
  4. Yaaah-hooo! (The Ugly Truth)
  5. Heh heh! (The Ugly Truth)
  6. Wooo-hoooo! (The Ugly Truth)
  7. There's monkeys in the walls! There's monkeys in the wall! (The Third Wheel)
  8. Gaaaah! (The Third Wheel)
  9. You should've seen the look on your face! Ha ha! (The Third Wheel)
  10. Dang it! (The Third Wheel)
  11. Heh, heh! (The Third Wheel)
  12. Woo hoo!!!! (The Third Wheel)

Great Aunt Reba[]

  1. Oh, grow up! (The Ugly Truth)
  2. Stop slouching! (The Ugly Truth)

Abigail Brown[]

  1. Hee hee hee! (The Third Wheel)
  2. That's immature! (Hard Luck)

Jason Brill[]

  1. Is this seat taken? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Patty Farrell[]

  1. Teacher! Teacher! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. No. (The Last Straw)

Mr. Snella[]

  1. Hey there, Frank! (The Last Straw)
  2. I wasn't taping yet! (The Last Straw)

Mr. Ira[]

  1. Nice catch, Patty! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. Nuh uh! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Mrs. Norton[]

  1. What a lovely soprano! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. I'll get you, my pretty! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  3. Whilst we are rooted to our spots, she doth move on lighter feet... (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Mrs. Irvine[]

  1. Rowley Jefferson, the principal is going to hear about this! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Bill Watson[]

  1. Will that be paper or plastic, ma'am? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Shawn Snella[]

  1. When I grow up, I'm gonna be a professional basketball player! (Rodrick Rules)
  2. WAAAH! (Rodrick Rules)

Rowley's Grandfather[]

  1. Next year, I want a chocolate cake! (Rodrick Rules)

"Gorillas-Who-Need-To-Shave-Twice-a-Day"[]

  1. Outta my way, runts! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Imaginary Fans of Greg[]

  1. Gregory! Tell us about your childhood! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. Were you always so smart and handsome? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Shelly's friend[]

  1. Greg, will you please pass this note to Shelly? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

TV SHOWS OR GAMES[]

  1. "C" is for cookie and cookie is for me! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. What number comes after two and rhymes with tree? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  3. Scream! (Rodrick Rules)
  4. Chomp! (Rodrick Rules)
  5. Scream! (Rodrick Rules)
  6. Chomp! (Rodrick Rules)
  7. That's a spare, Dave! (The Last Straw)
  8. To make sure carissa sticks around for another week, dial "492" or text the word "carissa" now! (The Last Straw)
  9. But Marissa... I... I love you! (Dog Days)
  10. Today on "Darlena"... backstabbing best friends! (The Ugly Truth)
  11. Kiss me, Rex. Kiss me to help me snap out of my amnesia! (The Ugly Truth)
  12. Teens are kidnapping residents of Leisure Towers, could your grandmother be next? (Cabin Fever)
  13. Let's be best friends! (Cabin Fever)
  14. Keep it up! (Cabin Fever)
  15. You're doing great! (Cabin Fever)
  16. Whoosh! (The Third Wheel)
  17. Groople blop pop. Bop bop? (The Third Wheel)
  18. Blinkly borp! (The Third Wheel)
  19. Yorp yorp yorp! (The Third Wheel)

Mr. Underwood[]

  1. Ok, kid... Gee whiz! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. Greg, you'll be paired up with Fregley here. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  3. Greg Heffley, you're on skins. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  4. At least do one! (The Last Straw)
  5. Yeaaaargh! (The Third Wheel)

Cheerleaders Greg Imagines Helping[]

  1. We cheerleaders are tired of riding to games in the same bus as the nerds in the band! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Jocks Greg Imagines[]

  1. We jocks just need an air pump to inflate our only football. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Marty Porter[]

  1. Darr... (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Big Guy With Chainsaw[]

  1. I'm sorry, ma'am! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Shane Snella[]

  1. Squeal! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Mr. Mitchell[]

  1. Blah blah blah blah blah blah (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

2 Other Kids in Tree Costumes[]

  1. We three trees! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. Gaah! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  3. We three trees from yonder glen... (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  4. Do spy a maiden fair and sweet... (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Imagined Robot[]

  1. Hi Bob it is very nice to meet you Bob. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Imagined Kids[]

  1. Can we please cross the street now? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. But we've been standing here for an hour! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Little Kids[]

  1. Eeeeeeee! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Peter Uteger[]

  1. Teacher, the answer to that question is... (Rodrick Rules)

Mr. Huff[]

  1. Mr. Heffley, you'll be sitting in this chair next to my desk. (Rodrick Rules)

Bill Walter[]

  1. Mornin', Mr. Heffley! (Rodrick Rules)
  2. Who's ready to rrrrocccckkkkk? (Rodrick Rules)
  3. Can I bum a potato chip? (Dog Days)

Sherlock Sammy[]

  1. Your first mistake, Mr. Beasley, was when you forgot to convert Celsius to Fahrenheit! (Rodrick Rules)

Imagined Family[]

  1. Rory!!! (Rodrick Rules)
  2. You are so smart, Rory! (Rodrick Rules)
  3. My dang car is broke! (Rodrick Rules)
  4. Rory!!! (Rodrick Rules)

Rory[]

  1. Eee! Eee! (Rodrick Rules)
  2. Rory... Fix... kar! (Rodrick Rules)

Quinn[]

  1. Do you like ice cream? (Rodrick Rules)
  2. Then why don't you marry it? (Rodrick Rules)

Mamadou[]

  1. Dear Gregory, I am very privileged to make your acquaintance. Mamadou (Rodrick Rules)

Albert Murphy[]

  1. Dear Jacques- how old are you? (Rodrick Rules)
  2. Dear Jacques- oh. (Rodrick Rules)

Jacques[]

  1. Dear Albert, 12. (Rodrick Rules)

Leland[]

  1. Hello! (Rodrick Rules)
  2. You run into a pack of orcs... and they look hungry! (Rodrick Rules)
  3. Hey, who's the dummy here? (Rodrick Rules)

Ward[]

  1. Har har har! (Rodrick Rules)

Greg's Described Friend[]

  1. Ok, what is it? (Rodrick Rules)

Community Follies People[]

  1. (corny joke, corny joke) (Rodrick Rules)
  2. Yuk yuk yuk! (Rodrick Rules)

Amazing Moose[]

  1. No, really... I couldn't. (Rodrick Rules)
  2. But we smell a heck of a lot better than antelopes. (Rodrick Rules)
  3. Oh. (Rodrick Rules)
  4. Rats. (Rodrick Rules)

Imagined Chef[]

  1. Your pizza, sir. (Rodrick Rules)

Imagined Evolved Human[]

  1. Yay! (Rodrick Rules)

Barbara[]

  1. We really dodged a bullet this time, Bob! (Rodrick Rules)

Bob[]

  1. You can say that again, Barbara! Ha ha ha! (Rodrick Rules)

Uncle Joe's Kids[]

  1. Hi Aunt Fwank! (Rodrick Rules)

Uncle Joe[]

  1. Better look out for the "potty monster," little fella! (Rodrick Rules)
  2. Nice toys, big brother! (Rodrick Rules)
  3. A boy needs a dog, Frank! (Dog Days)

Scotty Douglas[]

  1. And for my next twick... (Rodrick Rules)
  2. Peachy Bweeze is willy neat. (The Ugly Truth)

Mr. Warren[]

  1. Hiya, Frank! (Rodrick Rules)
  2. Happy Easter, Heffleys! (The Last Straw)
  3. Great son you got there, Frank! (The Last Straw)

Warren Kids[]

  1. 48... 49... 50! (The Last Straw)

Larry Larkin's Father[]

  1. What? (Rodrick Rules)

Harry Gilbertson[]

  1. I am! (Rodrick Rules)

Random France Person[]

  1. Comment allez-vous? (Rodrick Rules)

Random Whirley Street Kids[]

  1. Ooh ooh! Eee eee! (The Last Straw)

Mr. Shropsharp[]

  1. I don't know much, but I do know one thing: polar bears are some useless animals. (The Last Straw)
  2. Here I go... (The Last Straw)
  3. Oops. (The Last Straw)
  4. Before, I said that polar bears are some useless animals, but now I can see that not every polar bear is so useless after all. (The Last Straw)

Imagined Doctor[]

  1. Mr. Shropsharp, you would have drowned, but luckily Tobuk here was sitting on an iceberg, and he saved your life. (The Last Straw)

Imagined Person From the Future[]

  1. For you, kind sir! (The Last Straw)

Chimp[]

  1. Don't call me "chimp"! (The Last Straw)
  2. Oh, yeah. (The Last Straw)

Imagined Robot[]

  1. The OB River, in Russia. (The Last Straw)

Peter Lynn[]

  1. Squeal! (The Last Straw)

Mrs. Craig[]

  1. Aha! (The Last Straw)

Leon Ricket[]

  1. Yes, Mr. Ray. (The Last Straw)

Mr. Odom[]

  1. Wwaauugh! (The Last Straw)

School Radio[]

  1. You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around... (The Last Straw)

God[]

  1. Sorry... I must've missed that. (The Last Straw)

Mr. Litch[]

  1. You need a haircut! (The Last Straw)
  2. Get your butts over here! (The Last Straw)
  3. Hurry up! (The Last Straw)
  4. Creavey! Heffley! Gonzales! (The Last Straw)
  5. Creavy! Gonzales! (The Last Straw)

Rowley's Friends[]

  1. Shhhh! (The Last Straw)

Erick Bickford[]

  1. Ha ha ha! (The Last Straw)

Lenwood Heath[]

  1. Your tickets, sir. (The Last Straw)

Imagined Kids at Spag Union[]

  1. Wimp! (The Last Straw)

Imagined Kids[]

  1. Attenshun! (The Last Straw)

Mr. Barrett[]

  1. A terrible tragedy, that was! (The Last Straw)

Marcus Woodley[]

  1. Oof! (The Last Straw)

Darren Woodley[]

  1. Ha ha ha! (The Last Straw)

Imagined Spag Union Person[]

  1. What are you smiling about, private? (The Last Straw)

Mr. Henrich[]

  1. Squawk! Squawk! (The Last Straw)

Trista[]

  1. Hi! (The Last Straw)

Bob Post's Son[]

  1. If I eat this green bean, will its Mommy and Daddy be sad? (Dog Days)

Hide-And-Seek Harry[]

  1. I'm hiding... Can you find me? (Dog Days)
  2. Peekaboo! (Dog Days)

Imagined Police[]

  1. Greg Heffley, you are under arrest for failing to return "How To Make Sock Puppets." (Dog Days)

Pat[]

  1. Is that you, Susan? (Dog Days)

Fred[]

  1. Wow, thanks for shining my shoes! (Dog Days)

Swim Team[]

  1. 3... 4... 5... (Dog Days)
  2. 6... 7... 8... (Dog Days)
  3. 9... 10... 11... (Dog Days)

Imagined Vampire[]

  1. Mind if I borrow some flour? (Dog Days)

Aunt Brenda[]

  1. When I saw it in the store, I knew it was just perfect! (Dog Days)

Precious Poochie[]

  1. I just can't seem... (Dog Days)
  2. to figger out... (Dog Days)
  3. what's all the fuss... (Dog Days)
  4. over these here... (Dog Days)
  5. new-fangled... (Dog Days)
  6. phonograph devices! (Dog Days)

Christopher Brownfield[]

  1. Ouch! (The Ugly Truth)
  2. Hee hee hee hee! (The Ugly Truth)

Peachy Breeze kid[]

  1. Peachy Breeze is peachy keen! (The Ugly Truth)
  2. Peachy Breeze is peachy keen! (The Ugly Truth)
  3. Peachy Breeze is peachy keen! (The Ugly Truth)

Imagined Greg Future Family (Both kids and wifes)[]

  1. We need money. (Dog Days)
  2. Your underwear goes underneath your clothes, dad! (The Ugly Truth)

Imagined Family[]

  1. Can we get a discount for our three-month-old? (Dog Days)

Imagined Family[]

  1. The bathroom in the back is full, and Little Timmy really has to-- (Dog Days)

Sweetie/Sweetheart[]

  1. Bark bark bark bark (Dog Days)
  2. Zzzzzzz (Dog Days)
  3. Bark bark bark bark bark bark (Dog Days)

Imagined Comic People[]

  1. Um... Let's see... I guess... Hmm... (Dog Days)
  2. My toenail was so ingrown, it took the doctor an hour to dig it out! (Dog Days)

Shower Guys[]

  1. Hey Greg, how's the family? (Dog Days)
  2. Hey Greg, where'd you get those cool shades? (Dog Days)
  3. Mind if I borrow this chair for a sec? (Dog Days)

Imagined Person[]

  1. Greg Heffley, do you take Heather Hills to be your lawfully wedded wife? (Dog Days)

Tyson Sanders[]

  1. Hey there, Greg! (The Ugly Truth)
  2. Hee hee hee hee! (The Ugly Truth)

Bryan Goot[]

  1. Hey, you got my book! (The Ugly Truth)

Charlene[]

  1. I've got about thirty thousand in the bank... Maybe forty. (The Ugly Truth)

Kindergarten Teacher[]

  1. One chocolate chip cookie plus another chocolate chip cookie is... (The Ugly Truth)

Dreamed Bunny[]

  1. Meep! Meep! Meep! (The Ugly Truth)

Rachel[]

  1. Your gums are in very bad shape. You're going to need to floss every day from now on. (The Ugly Truth)

Dr. Kagan[]

  1. Aiiiieeee! (The Ugly Truth)

Isabella[]

  1. Mm mm mm. (The Ugly Truth)
  2. Dear Mrs. Heffley, now which child is Gregory again? Isabella (The Ugly Truth)
  3. Dear Mrs. Heffley, thank you for the clarification. Now, would you like me to separate the darks from the lights or wash them all together? (The Ugly Truth)
  4. Dear Mrs. Heffley, please note that I prefer barbecue potato chips over plain ones. Isabella (The Ugly Truth)
  5. Dear Mrs. Heffley, thank you for the clarification on how to handle the lights and the darks. Unfortunately, I have misplaced your earlier note in which you stated who Gregory is. Isabella (The Ugly Truth)

Mrs. Libby[]

  1. Jolly Greg! (The Ugly Truth)

Teddy Caldwell[]

  1. I was the one who spray painted a bad word on the front of the school. (The Ugly Truth)

George Fleer[]

  1. Hey! (The Ugly Truth)
  2. Hee hee hee hee! (The Ugly Truth)

Mr. Tanner[]

  1. Hmm... (The Ugly Truth)

Nicky Wood[]

  1. Hee hee hee hee! (The Ugly Truth)

Jordan Jury[]

  1. Hey, dudes, you're invited to my party! (The Ugly Truth)
  2. No, but you can go get us some more sodas! (The Ugly Truth)

Imagined Girl[]

  1. Then I guess you'll have to kiss both of us! (The Ugly Truth)

Benjy[]

  1. No! (The Ugly Truth)
  2. Shut up! (The Ugly Truth)
  3. Hey! Poopy diaper here! (The Ugly Truth)

Great Uncle Arthur[]

  1. Muuurp. (The Ugly Truth)
  2. Rrup? (The Ugly Truth)

Terrence[]

  1. What's new, Greg? (The Ugly Truth)

Uncle Charlie[]

  1. Hey there, Red! (The Ugly Truth)
  2. Whattya say, Blue? (The Ugly Truth)
  3. Hey there, plummers! (Cabin Fever)

Family Member[]

  1. Man, your feet are cold! (The Ugly Truth)

Uncle John[]

  1. Ahhh... (The Ugly Truth)

Sonja[]

  1. Yes! Yes! (The Ugly Truth)

Santa[]

  1. That's disgusting! (Cabin Fever)

Cody Johnson[]

  1. Whup! (Cabin Fever)

Nasty Pants[]

  1. Raaaah! (Cabin Fever)
  2. You smell like a dirty diaper. P.U.! (Cabin Fever)

Billy Staples[]

  1. Yaaar!!! (Cabin Fever)

Francis Knott[]

  1. Waaugh! (Cabin Fever)

Mr. Sparks[]

  1. Yaargh! (Cabin Fever)

Mrs. Durocher[]

  1. How about a hug, Gregory? (Cabin Fever)

Mr. Harkin[]

  1. Oops! Sorry 'bout that, buddy! (Cabin Fever)

Mrs. Lahey[]

  1. Aha! (Cabin Fever)

Jesus[]

  1. Gee, thanks. (Cabin Fever)

Geoffrey the Dinosaur[]

  1. Ooh ooh ooh, (Cabin Fever)

The Neighborhood Tattler[]

  1. Tattler reporters have uncovered a price-gouging scheme at the school Holiday Bazaar that has been running unchecked for years. The popular chicken drumstick items, "Drummies," have been sold at the Bazaar for more than six times their retail value. "I'm outraged," said a loyal customer who did not want to be. See DRUMMIES, A2 (Cabin Fever)
  2. New Bazaar Offers Alternative to School Event: With the community reeling from the Drummies scandal, two boys have decided to make things right. "We've decided to start our own Holiday Bazaar," said Greg Heffley, an entrepreneur. See BAZAAR, A3 (Cabin Fever)
  3. Ask Greg: Dear Greg, my wife is always criticizing everything I do. The other day it was a little chilly out so I wore socks with my sandals. My wife actually made me go back inside and put on shoes! I feel like she treats me like a child, but she has a very strong personality and I'm afraid to stand up to her. What can I do? Sincerely, FRUSTRATED (Cabin Fever)
  4. Dear FRUSTRATED, it's NEVER okay to wear socks with sandals! You should apologize to your wife immediately. Greg (Cabin Fever)
  5. Dear Greg, are you single? Sincerely, THE LADIES (Cabin Fever)
  6. Dear THE LADIES, why, yes I am! Greg (Cabin Fever)
  7. Kitten has a fun day - by Rowley Jefferson. Yesterday Mrs. Salter's kitten Mittens was seen frolicking in her front yard. Mittens spent an hour and a half chasing after a butterfly that was flying around Mrs. Salter's azaleas, and when the butterfly flew off, Mittens got very interested in something that was jumping near the front porch. But by the time I got close enough to see what Mittens was chasing, the thing had hopped away. (Cabin Fever)
  8. Papa Tony's pizza stinks - By Food Critic GREG HEFFLEY. Have you noticed that Papa Tony's has started to really go downhill lately? It all started when they took the barbecue chicken pizza off of their menu and replaced it with a spinach pizza. Then they stopped selling grape soda. Papa Tony's was the only place in town you could get grape soda, so now I have to drink root beer, but it's really not the same. And half the soda water doesn't mix right with the syrup, so you either get corn syrup sludge or soda water. I think they're just trying to give you a bad fountain soda experience so you'll pay for the canned soda, which costs twice as much. My last complaint is about the napkins. You used to be able to use as many, but now Tony only lets you have two, and if you take more he gives you a dirty look. (Cabin Fever)
  9. Masked Hero Revealed! - The Tattler can exclusively report that the mysterious do-gooder who shoveled the church sidewalk on Christmas Eve is none other than our very own editor in chief, Greg Heffley. "I just wanted to do the right thing," said Heffley when asked why he decided. See HERO, A2 (Cabin Fever)

Ned the Napkin[]

  1. How come you always ask ME? (Cabin Fever)

Drawn Police Officer[]

  1. Hey you! Why are you running around in your underwear? (Cabin Fever)

The Daily Herald[]

  1. Vandals struck last night under cover of darkness and rain, leaving large bright green stains on the front wall of the town middle school. The meaning of the green blobs is still unknown, but police suspect it could be gang-related. "Graffiti artists have caused a lot of property damage in the past six months," said Sgt. Peters of the town police force. SEE VANDALS, A2 (Cabin Fever)
  2. Top: Juveniles left these green splotches on the school last night. (Cabin Fever)
  3. Left: Police sketches of the vandals based on an eyewitness account. The suspects fled the scene when confronted by the passerby. (Cabin Fever)
  4. Unidentified Do-Gooder Clears the Way - Unselfish Act Allows Soup Kitchen to Open: the blizzard that crippled the town and shut down many basic services threatened to cancel the soup kitchen, which many less fortunate individuals rely on for a hot meal on Christmas. But an unidentified juvenile spent his Christmas Eve shoveling out the church sidewalk to make sure that didn't happen. See MYSTERY, A2 (Cabin Fever)

Town Police Department[]

  1. We came by, but no one was home. We will come later. Sgt. Peters (Cabin Fever)

Net Kritterz[]

  1. Gregory's Little Friend (Cabin Fever)
  2. Mood Meter: Gregory's Little Friend is feeling: queasy. (Cabin Fever)
  3. Mood Meter: Gregory's Little Friend is feeling: snazzy. (Cabin Fever)
  4. Mood Meter: Gregory's Little Friend is feeling: agitated. (Cabin Fever)
  5. To: Heffley, Gregory. From: Net Kritterz. Subject: SOS! Dear Gregory- GREGORY'S LITTLE FRIEND misses you! Purchase more tokens for your virtual pet before it's too late! (Cabin Fever)

Hole-in-the-Table Trick Instructions[]

  1. Tell the audience there's a magical hole in the table and that you can prove it by pushing a plastic cup through it. Put a piece of tinfoil over a plastic cup and wrap it tight. (Cabin Fever)
  2. Slide the plastic cup toward you and allow it to fall out onto your lap. But don't let your audience see you do it! (Cabin Fever)
  3. Slap down on the empty tinfoil shell with your hand, standing up at the same time. The plastic cup will fall out of your lap and onto the floor, making it seem as if it has passed through the table! Voila! (Cabin Fever)

Dreamed Fire Fighter[]

  1. Our hose is ripped! How are we gonna put out the fire? (Cabin Fever)

Family Photo Album - Spring Has Sprung![]

  1. Easter Egg Hunt (Cabin Fever)
  2. Canoeing on the lake (Cabin Fever)
  3. Visiting the petting zoo (Cabin Fever)
  4. Greg's favorite... "Li'l Pete" (Cabin Fever)
  5. Help! Gregory isn't happy on his first pony ride (Cabin Fever)

Kenny Centazzo[]

  1. To my biggest fan, Craig. Kenny Centazzo (Cabin Fever)

Wesley Stringer[]

  1. Hissss! (The Third Wheel)
  2. Hissss! (The Third Wheel)
  3. Yahoooo! (The Third Wheel)

Bradley[]

  1. Raaarh! (The Third Wheel)

Bad Bradley (Book)[]

  1. Do not bite the teacher, Bradley. Biting the teacher is not allowed! (The Third Wheel)
  2. CHOMP (The Third Wheel)

Bradley's Mother[]

  1. You remember Bradley, don't you? (The Third Wheel)

Baylee Anthony[]

  1. I didn't pick him. (The Third Wheel)
  2. Don't any of you nerds write my name down. (The Third Wheel)

Amazing Andrew[]

  1. Cucumber! (The Third Wheel)

Martin Ford[]

  1. Cucumber! Cucumber! (The Third Wheel)

Krisstina[]

  1. Trust in your dreams and you will see, just how happy your heart can be, reach for the stars and never stop! You're a winner, you'll reach the top! (The Third Wheel)

Scotty Douglas's TV[]

  1. Boom! Kapow! (The Third Wheel)

Bryan's Campaign Rallies[]

  1. Brlfbt! (The Third Wheel)
  2. Phlbbp! (The Third Wheel)
  3. Blbblt! (The Third Wheel)
  4. Brblttr! (The Third Wheel)
  5. Frbbttr! (The Third Wheel)
  6. Flrrbb! (The Third Wheel)
  7. Pbbblt! (The Third Wheel)
  8. Frlbbp! (The Third Wheel)

Uncle Gary's Game[]

  1. Sorry, your scratch ticket is not a winner. (The Third Wheel)

Jessica[]

  1. Dear Bryce, it would be "sweet" if you'd go with me to the Valentine's Day dance! Signed, Jessica (The Third Wheel)

Daniel Revis[]

  1. Whup! (The Third Wheel)

Travis Hickey[]

  1. Woo hoo! (The Third Wheel)

Vice Principal Roy[]

  1. Aaargh! (The Third Wheel)

Leighann Marlow[]

  1. Hi Greg - I am sorry, but I'm not interested in going to the dance with you. Leighann (The Third Wheel)

Greg Jr.[]

  1. Yes, papa! (Hard Luck)

All Mingo Kids[]

  1. You come near our woods again, Meckley's gonna git you! (Hard Luck)

Lindsey[]

  1. Well, you only wanted to wear it because you knew Justin would be there! (Hard Luck)
  2. I'm sorry I used up your lip gloss! (Hard Luck)
  3. Wait... What? (Hard Luck)

Lindsey's Friend[]

  1. You used up all my purple lip gross because you knew I wanted to wear it to the roller rink! (Hard Luck)
  2. And I'm sorry I kissed Justin at the roller rink. (Hard Luck)

Freddie Harlahan[]

  1. (mmrf) five-second rule! (chomp) (Hard Luck)

Jonathan[]

  1. Raaaah! (Hard Luck)

Unidentified Characters[]

Unidentified Kids Who Are Running From Darren[]

  1. SCREAM! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Person Talking To Greg For Gifted and Easy Group[]

  1. The "Book." (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Greg's Unidentified Friends at His Birthday Party[]

  1. Hey, this one says it's to "Bubby"! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Bully[]

  1. Ha ha ha! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Bully[]

  1. It's great to be me! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Bully[]

  1. Hey, look, Greg has a purse! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Bully[]

  1. Ok, pursie. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Kid[]

  1. You poor thing! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. You meanie! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Kid[]

  1. Does it still hurt? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. Here comes the airplane! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Person Greg Imagines Who Gets Christmas Free Gifts[]

  1. Yippee. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. Jerks. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Bully[]

  1. Hi there, "Bubby"! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Lady[]

  1. I just knew you'd love it! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Bullies[]

  1. Pee mud! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. Pee mud! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Girls[]

  1. Hee hee hee! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Kid Dressed Up as a Witch[]

  1. I get that you're pretty! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Neighbor[]

  1. What're you supposed to be? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Teacher[]

  1. Yeeoww! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Teacher[]

  1. Greg Heffley, will you please do this problem? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. Excuse me? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  3. Well, I hardly think that's... (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Kids[]

  1. Hee hee hee hee! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Kid[]

  1. Will you put us in your comic? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Kids[]

  1. Ha ha ha! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. Ha ha ha! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Teacher[]

  1. Zoo-Wee-Mama! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Kids[]

  1. Fight! Fight! Fight! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. Fight! Fight! Fight! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Bullies[]

  1. You're lucky, punk! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Kid[]

  1. Heyyyyyyyyy! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Kids[]

  1. Scream! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. Scream! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified bully[]

  1. Sissy! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Girl[]

  1. Hey, you're dropping all our money, you fool! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Haunted Mansion Person[]

  1. Good eeeveninggg. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Person Who Agrees With Bryce[]

  1. Yeah! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Teacher[]

  1. I hope you all like where you're sitting, because these are your permanent seats. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Unidentified Random School Announcements[]

  1. And the new cartoonist for the school paper is... Greg Heffley! (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  2. Rowley Jefferson, please report to Mr. Winsky's office immediately. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  3. Greg Heffley, please report to Mr. Winsky's office. (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
  4. A pair of boys' underpants with the name "Greg H." written on the waistband was found in the hallway. Would the owner please come to the front office to retrieve his article of clothing? (The Last Straw)
  5. Congratulations to Greg Heffley for winning the perfect attendance award. (The Last Straw)
  6. Congratulations to Dookie Johnson for getting straight A's in the third quarter! (Cabin Fever)
  7. Dennis Root, please report to the front office. (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Parents[]

  1. Kill 'em Brandon! (Rodrick Rules)
  2. No mercy, Todd! (Rodrick Rules)

Unidentified Lady[]

  1. Come on, ladies! Get those arms up! (Rodrick Rules)

Unidentified Swimming Kids[]

  1. Ha ha ha! (Rodrick Rules)
  2. Ha ha ha! (Rodrick Rules)

Unidentified Kids at School[]

  1. Scream! (Rodrick Rules)
  2. Scream! (Rodrick Rules)
  3. P.U.! P.U.! (Rodrick Rules)
  4. Yeah! P.U.! P.U.! (Rodrick Rules)

Unidentified Kids From a Movie[]

  1. Beegle boddle brup bop! (Rodrick Rules)
  2. Bork! (Rodrick Rules)

Unidentified Girls[]

  1. Will you tell us more about your trip? (Rodrick Rules)

Unidentified Adult[]

  1. Not interested! (Rodrick Rules)
  2. How precious! (Rodrick Rules)

Unidentified Police Officer[]

  1. Geek! (Rodrick Rules)

Unidentified Kid[]

  1. Yeah... I wonder how he's doing. (Rodrick Rules)
  2. Nope... Must have been the wind! (Rodrick Rules)

Unidentified Lady[]

  1. There are some thugs outside my house sporting "gang colors." (Rodrick Rules)

Unidentified Person at Career Day[]

  1. And that's why I love being an electrical engineer. (Rodrick Rules)

Unidentified Teacher[]

  1. Edward, could you please clean up this juice spill? (Rodrick Rules)

Unidentified Girl[]

  1. Hee hee hee! (Rodrick Rules)

Unidentified Man at Home Depot[]

  1. What the heck? (Rodrick Rules)

Unidentified Teacher[]

  1. Okee doke, thanks for letting me know. (Rodrick Rules)
  2. That poor glass eye kid. (Rodrick Rules)

Unidentified Person[]

  1. And now for Larry Larkin's performance of "carnage". (Rodrick Rules)

Unidentified Girl[]

  1. You're disgusting! (Rodrick Rules)

Unidentified Lady[]

  1. It'll help you get a jump-start on algebra! (The Last Straw)

Unidentified Bully[]

  1. Har har har! (The Last Straw)

Unidentified Adult[]

  1. Goo goo goo goo goo! (The Last Straw)

Unidentified Soccer Tryouts Person[]

  1. I said go around the cones! (The Last Straw)

Unidentified Girls[]

  1. Hee hee hee! (The Last Straw)

Unidentified Kids[]

  1. Har har har! (The Last Straw)
  2. Har har har! (The Last Straw)

Unidentified Kid[]

  1. Did you catch the big soccer match last night? (The Last Straw)

Unidentified Swim Kids[]

  1. Ha ha! (The Last Straw)
  2. Ha ha! (The Last Straw)

Unidentified Kids[]

  1. Hee hee hee hee! (The Last Straw)

Unidentified Bullies[]

  1. Nerd! (The Last Straw)
  2. Ha ha! (The Last Straw)

Unidentified Joshie fans[]

  1. SCREAM! (The Ugly Truth)

Unidentified Beauty Salon Ladies[]

  1. ... And then Marlene says to Vanessa, "if you're gonna get up in my face, you'd better be ready to back it up!" (Dog Days)
  2. HIIIIIIIIIIIII GREGGGGGGG! (Dog Days)

Unidentified Slipside Water Park Announcer[]

  1. Due to lightning, the Slipside Water Park is now closed. Thank you for coming, and have a nice day. (Dog Days)

Unidentified Kid[]

  1. Mama, I'm peeing! (Dog Days)

Unidentified Families[]

  1. Ooooooooooh! (Dog Days)
  2. Aaaaaaaaah! (Dog Days)

Unidentified Boy[]

  1. Ahem. (Dog Days)

Unidentified Teenager[]

  1. Score! (Dog Days)

Unidentified Peachy Breeze People[]

  1. Next! (The Ugly Truth)

Unidentified Lady[]

  1. Hey, get those creepy kids out of there! (The Ugly Truth)
  2. I love it! Ha ha! (The Ugly Truth)

Unidentified Kid[]

  1. No, no, no! (The Ugly Truth)

Unidentified Chaperone[]

  1. Subject approaching the corridor-three boys' bathroom. (The Ugly Truth)

Unidentified Adults[]

  1. We know you're in there! (The Ugly Truth)
  2. Hey! (The Ugly Truth)

Unidentified Kids[]

  1. Screeeam! (The Ugly Truth)
  2. Hee hee hee! (The Ugly Truth)
  3. Ha ha ha! (The Ugly Truth)
  4. Blarp! (The Ugly Truth)

Unidentified Adult[]

  1. How darling! (The Ugly Truth)

Unidentified Old Kids[]

  1. You remember the mustard? And the sprinklers? (The Ugly Truth)
  2. And the baby pool and the chocolate syrup? (The Ugly Truth)
  3. Ha ha ha ha ha! (The Ugly Truth)
  4. Har har har! (The Ugly Truth)

Unidentified Kids[]

  1. Raaah!!! (Cabin Fever)
  2. Shrieeek!!! (Cabin Fever)
  3. Ha ha! (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Imagined Kid[]

  1. Hey! Dookie! (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Kids[]

  1. Squeal! (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Kid[]

  1. Gaaah! (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Teacher[]

  1. Hey! (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Playground Kids[]

  1. Got you! (Cabin Fever)
  2. Nut-uh! Nuh-uh! (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Teachers[]

  1. That's galloping! (Cabin Fever)
  2. Greg Heffley will not be receiving his diploma due to an inability to skip. (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Guy[]

  1. Waaaugh! (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Adult[]

  1. Adult male requests a scarf and a pair of gloves. (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Imagined Past Person[]

  1. Spoo! (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Worker[]

  1. You mean Drummies? (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Person[]

  1. This gift counts for Christmas and your birthday, Jesus! (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Secret Holiday Buddy[]

  1. To: Leighton, From: Your Secret Holiday Buddy (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Teacher[]

  1. This one says, "To Dean Delarosa, from your secret holiday buddy, Greg Heffley." (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Drawn Person[]

  1. Ok, who forgot to wear deodorant? (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Drawn Kid[]

  1. Can you clean up my spilled soda, Ned? (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Drawn Person[]

  1. It's Friday! (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Person[]

  1. Hey! What're you kids doing? (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Criminal[]

  1. Don't mess up, or you'll end up in here like us! (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Kid[]

  1. Did you poop? (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Past Imagined Adult[]

  1. For your crimes, you must repay your neighbor with three hens and a rooster. (Cabin Fever)

Unidentified Hospital Person[]

  1. It's a boy! (The Third Wheel)

Unidentified Picture of Newborn Greg Heffley[]

  1. Introducing our little bundle of joy Gregory Heffley (The Third Wheel)
  2. 5 pounds, 7 ounces (The Third Wheel)

Unidentified Corny's Family-Style Restaurant Worker[]

  1. You don't look like you're having fun! (The Third Wheel)

Unidentified Dreamed Girl[]

  1. ... And the "Best Biceps" winner is... (The Third Wheel)
  2. ... Greg Heffley! (The Third Wheel)

Unidentified Company Worker[]

  1. I think we need to add more pepper! (The Third Wheel)

Unidentified Eighth Graders[]

  1. Har har har! (The Third Wheel)

Unidentified Kids[]

  1. Dag, is that kid still in there? (The Third Wheel)
  2. Hey... (The Third Wheel)

Unidentified Teacher[]

  1. Here's another one for Greg Heffley! (The Third Wheel)

Unidentified Kid[]

  1. Dear Greg, yes I will go to the dance with you and P.S. will you marry me? HAR HAR HAR (The Third Wheel)

Unidentified Person[]

  1. You may now kiss the bride! (The Third Wheel)

Unidentified Teacher[]

  1. Would Peter and Lisa please clean the whiteboard? (The Third Wheel)

Unidentified Kids[]

  1. Woo wooooo! (The Third Wheel)

Unidentified Kid[]

  1. I'm just chillin'. (The Third Wheel)

Unidentified Imagined Girls[]

  1. Screaaaaamm!!! (The Third Wheel)

Unidentified Corny's Family-Style Restaurant Worker[]

  1. Let me take care of that for ya, pardner! (The Third Wheel)

Unidentified Corny's Family-Style Restaurant Worker[]

  1. Have you decided on a main course? (The Third Wheel)

Unidentified Corny's Family-Style Restaurant Workers[]

  1. Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you (The Third Wheel)

Unidentified Senior Person[]

  1. Let the record show that Mrs. Fishburn has seconded the motion to have a coffeemaker in the kitchenette. (The Third Wheel)

Unidentified Kids[]

  1. Oops! (Hard Luck)
  2. Five-second rule! (Hard Luck)
  3. Five-second rule! (Hard Luck)
  4. Sniff sniff (Hard Luck)

Unidentified Angry Kid[]

  1. Thanks a lot, jerk! (Hard Luck)

Unidentified Person[]

  1. Good job, Johnathan! (Hard Luck)
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