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If it ain't fun, it ain't Corny's
Corny's slogan

Corny's Family-Style Restaurant, colloquially known as Corny's, is a substandard family restaurant founded by Ron Hammond and that the Heffley family goes to for their family nights. It appears in The Third Wheel, The Getaway and the live action adaptation of The Long Haul.

History[]

The Third Wheel[]

Rowley Tie Cut
Greg covers the window with menus as Abigail is watching him

During the way to the Valentine's Day Dance, Abigail Brown, Rowley, and Greg went in there for dinner when things didn't work out at Spriggo's. Although Greg didn't want to go there, Rowley said that he has been there before and admires the dessert bar and Abigail agreed since she had never been there before. Greg did not warn Rowley about the rule about ties, so Rowley's tie got cut off. Since they didn't have any small children along with them, they were offered to the Adult's Alley. But the seating wasn't the same. They sat near a window neighboring the Children's Alley, which had a lot of kids knocking on it. They tried moving seats, but that was, if not worse than, as bad as the first one, except instead of annoying kids, there were some parents changing their kid's diaper on the table, which made Greg cover the glass with menus.

Happy Birthday To Cornys

For dinner, Greg told Rowley and Abigail that he is doing the bill and that they can order whatever they want. This came out unexpected, as Rowley and Abigail each ordered two appetizers, which were the same, and a T-bone steak. Greg decided to only order a hamburger, but the waiters added mayonnaise on his burger, even though Greg told them to take it off. He didn't eat all of it, because of the logo on the plate. For the dessert, since Greg knew that they were probably going to order something expensive if they kept up what they had been doing, he fibbed that it was Rowley's birthday so that Rowley got free birthday cake, but with those events, Abigail still ordered a triple-layer chocolate cheesecake, which she only took two bites out of.

Greg asks Robert Jefferson to borrow a five-dollar bill to trade

The bill later came and left a colossal sum, to Greg's dismay. Greg used all his money in his wallet and even pulled out his emergency five dollars from his wet socks, but they didn't accept it, so Greg called Robert Jefferson to give him five dollars to pay for the food. Then, they all went into the car to school, where the dance was taking place.

The Getaway[]

The restaurant makes a cameo appearance when Greg compares the difference between a family and a regular restaurant with Corny's making a cameo as the family restaurant.

The Long Haul (film)[]

In the film, Corny's was the setting of the Diaper Hands incident. Other than that, it played the same basic role as The Third Wheel.

Sections[]

Children's Alley

Corny's is split up into two sections; the Children Alley and the Adult Alley. Both of which are only separated by a single sheet of glass. Greg's family goes to the Children's Alley, due to having Manny with them. Greg dislikes this section as crumpled napkins and half-eaten food are littered on the tables and floor thoroughly due to Corny's not bothering to clean up when one family leaves and a new one comes in. It's almost impossible to not end up sitting or stepping on leftovers of food so people always have to check their seats and where they're standing - unfortunately when Greg went there for the first time he didn't do that and ended up sitting on a front-faced peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Furthermore, the seats are near the bathrooms and since the doors are constantly swinging open the bathroom is clear while people are eating.

The kids are pounding windows next door as Greg, Rowley and Abgail looking at the menu

The Adult Area isn't much of an improvement then the Children Alley as teens and adults frequently get stuck with irritating kids at the Children Alley right next door to them.

Playing Area[]

Ball Pit

The restaurant has a play pit full of balls and a plastic tube area with slides to entertain kids. This Playing Area is one of the reasons why Susan Heffley likes to go to Corny's as she's hoping that Manny will engage with other kids his age. However, Manny usually just hides in the ball pit from the other kids until it's time to go.

Corny Saviour

When Susan actually made Manny go in the plastic tubes and stop burying himself in the ball pit, he got frightened and was too scared to come down, so Greg had to rescue him since he was the only person in the family that could fit inside the tubes. Greg tried climbing up the way to get to the tubes but he was too cramped and had to bail out. He crawled up the slides and whenever Greg asked if the coast was clear, kids slid down just to bug him. Greg eventually got up there and he crawled through the maze of tunnels that reeked of dirty socks to find Manny. After being trampled by children running away from a kid who vomited Greg finally found Manny - but he was too freaked out to go back down as well so one of the waiters had to come up and rescue them. Since the tubes reeked of dirty socks so heavily, Greg had to throw out his favorite pair of jeans, because he couldn't wash out the smell no matter how hard he tried. The Playing Area is also where the Diaper Hands meme took place in the Long Haul film.

Service[]

Feed yer face

According to Greg, they have terrible service, as they get the orders wrong constantly, so him and his family always just get the buffet. The buffet also isn't exempt to its flaws as there's always food from the other metal trays mixed in with the others. They also have a soft-serve ice-cream dispenser, but it's unhygienic as children mess around with it by dispensing ice-cream directly into their mouths or dispensing a very large amount of ice cream onto their cones that ends up falling onto the floor.

Rule[]

Frank is shocked when Corny's Employee cut off his tie

For some unknown reason, the restaurant has a very strict rule that people are not allowed to wear a tie (this is most likely because the restaurant is themed around fun and they consider ties as expressions of boring, un-fun work days). When guests with ties enter, the staff cut them off and pin them up on a bulletin board called Wall of Shame. When the Heffleys went there for the first time, Frank Heffley had to find out about the rule the hard way. When Greg went there for dinner with Abigail Brown and Rowley Jefferson he remembered the tie rule last second and tucked it into his back pocket. However, he didn't have time to warn Rowley and his tie ended up permanently pinned on the Wall of Shame.

The tie rule wasn't seen in The Long Haul film, but it is insinuated that it exists, as Frank was seen without his tie after the Heffley family went inside (although in the deleted scenes the rule is shown).

Known Menu Items[]

Happy Birthday To Cornys
  • T-Bone Steak (Most Expensive Item On The Menu)
  • Triple Layer Chocolate Cheesecake
  • Hamburger
  • Spaghetti and Meatballs
  • Soft-Serve Ice Cream and toppings
  • Pizza
  • Corn Chips
  • Buffet
  • French Fries
  • Birthday Cake (free on your birthday)
  • Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich
  • Garlic Bread
  • Roast Beef
  • Mashed Potatoes
  • Muffins
  • Corn on the Cob
  • Chicken Strips
  • Ham

Trivia[]

  • The general set of Corny's appears to be like McDonald's, while the Corny's Feed Yer Face buffet and Ice-Cream bar are like Pizza Hut. The Children's Alley is similar to Chuck E. Cheese.
  • It's unknown how this restaurant has been allowed to stay open due to the "terrible" service cause of undisposed diapers, messy dining hall and kitchen however if Corny's Family Style Restaurant was a real life restaurant then it would fail a health inspection and could be at risk of going out of business.
  • Some things are cowboy-themed, like the logo on the plates and the signs on the toilets.
  • According to The Next Chapter book, the founder of the restaurant was a man named Ron Hammond.
  • The restaurant's no tie rule is technically illegal, since they snip off your tie and keep it, which constitutes theft and damage of property (in this case, clothing).
  • The exterior of the restaurant was only seen in the film The Long Haul.
  • In The Long Haul film, The Pig's drawing can be seen as a sign named "All yeh can eat buffet" in Corny's restaurant, which is a possible foreshadowing of getting the pig.
  • The playplace was most likely never cleaned at all, which is why Greg's jeans smelled like feet after he was in the tubes.

Appearances[]

Gallery[]

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